Motherhood. One of the most competitive roles in the world. Where you’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. It doesn’t matter the topic. Everyone supposedly knows what’s best for your baby. Except for you. You know, the woman that carried (or dreamed) of that small child, or children, for months. The person that cares for them and loves them each and every moment of every single day. You ma’am… You know nothing. Advice comes from your mother-in-law, your friend, your aunt, and even random freaking strangers. Uhmmmm, WHAT?! Back up off my parenting!
Breastfeeding vs. Bottle Feeding
If you bottle feed, you’re going to get a bunch of hell for not breastfeeding. How can you not give your child the best start at life? How can you be so selfish as to deprive them from such nourishment? How can you not take advantage of the free food attached to your body? I feel bad for you to have to wake up in the middle of the night and prepare a bottle.
If you breastfeed, you’re going to get a bunch of hell for not bottle feeding. How dare you deprive the father and anyone else of that bonding time? Why don’t you whip those out somewhere else and be less tacky, like a public restroom or your car? Why is that baby not weaned yet? Think you’ll wean anytime soon? I feel bad for you that you breastfeed since your baby won’t sleep through the night.
Ladies, shut up. I don’t care if you’re the grandma, the sister, the friend. Let mama and baby feed and eat how it fits for them. I breastfed and bottle fed. And either way, I was getting questioned. It doesn’t matter how your baby is fed. It matters that you’re feeding them. Good job for feeding your baby and for doing it how you wanted to do it! Breast feeding or bottle feeding is not a definition of who you are as a parent.
Cry It Out vs. Non Cry It Out
Like the feeding problem, people tend to focus on how your baby is sleeping. Why? I have no freaking clue.
If you let your baby CIO, they’re going to have brain damage. They’re going to have attachment issues. And they’re going to hate you when they’re older. You are screwing up your child and you are the definition of a bad parent.
If you don’t let your baby cry, don’t you know that crying is good for them? Your baby should be learning to sleep on their own. They’re going to have attachment issues. They’re never going to get out of your room or your bed. You are screwing up your child and the definition of a bad parent.
Once again… Why does this matter? If your child is sleeping, getting a good night’s rest (or day, or whenever they rest!) and growing, why does when, how long, or where they sleep even an issue? I was blessed with good sleepers- another post for another day- and we did some Cry It Out. Is that why they sleep well? I don’t know. Did we get a lot of feedback on how awful we were at this whole parenting thing? Duh. It sucked. But we don’t regret our decision. Good job for letting your child sleep how you see fit. Sleeping well is not a definition of who you are as a parent.
Fast Food vs. Organic Food
Did you pick up McDonald’s for a fast dinner or buy a bag of chips last week? How awful of you to feed your child such junk! Are you trying to create an obese child? Do you want them addicted to sugar, grease, and crap? They’re never going to eat that steamed broccoli you put on their plate! Only people that don’t care about their children feed them that junk!
Are you an organic, whole food only eating family? How could you deprive your child of the sugars and delicious food in the world? Aren’t you afraid they’ll be made fun of? Just them eat that cupcake and drink that juice box! It can’t be that bad if its being sold in supermarkets! How do you not eat a delicious Big Mac and large fries?
Food. Again. Why do people care about the food we put in our bodies. Not your body, not your child’s body, not your problem. I think people need to step back and see the bigger issue here. This is where I find myself “not crunchy.” I like to provide healthy food for my family on a regular basis. You’ll find that most snacks in my house are fresh fruits or veggies. It’s what my kids like. But guess what…. We ate fast food last night after the day of healthy eating. It doesn’t matter. My kids still eat the steamed broccoli- in fact, the gobble that stuff up! But one night of fast food eating isn’t going to make them obese or only crave the greasy, crap food. They’ll eat whatever I put in front of them. How you feed your family is not a definition of who you are as a parent.
If you want a hospital birth and epidural, you already don’t care about your baby. You are selfish for not taking the pain that comes with child birth. You’re an awful mother already.
If you want a natural hospital birth, you’re crazy and you should totally get those drugs. Think about how painful childbirth is!
If you have a c-section, you didn’t try hard enough to have a baby the normal way. You took the easy way out.
If you want a home birth, you’re a hippy freak. You could care less about that baby growing inside of you and you care more about proving a point while putting your child at risk.
Why do people care about how these babies come out? Who cares if they were cut out, popped out through a vagina, or came another way. A baby is a baby. All that matters is they’re healthy. I’ll admit to not being happy about my births. And I’ll admit that I want any future births to go differently. But that is none of anyone else’s business. That’s between me, my husband, my caregiver and God. How you birth your baby is not a definition of who you are as a parent.
Disposable Diapers vs. Cloth Diapers
If you buy disposable diapers, you’re just throwing money away. How can you put all those chemicals on your baby’s bum and feel okay with it? Do you know how much trash you’re putting into the landfill?
If you cloth diaper, you like playing in poop. Why would you wash poop and pee in your washing machine? Your house is just going to stink constantly of dirty diapers! That is so inconvenient!
Do we really need to get into this one? Cloth diapers are adorable and much better for baby and the environment, in my opinion. But this is a cloth diapering based blog! 😉 But that doesn’t mean that someone that uses disposable diapers is a bad mom. Every family is different. Every situation is different. And every baby is different. How you diaper your baby is not a definition of who you are as a parent.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is that no one thing defines how you parent. Feeding your child this way doesn’t mean you love them less. Letting them cry doesn’t make you horrible. And it really, truly, does not matter what others say. Screw them! You’re the mom. You’re one of the parents. You make the decisions. If you;re having a rough time with something and ask for help or advice, then welcome it in and take what you want while throwing the rest out the window. Unsolicited advice, no matter who or where it comes from, is always a pain in the bum. But unfortunately- like spit up clothes, no shower for days, sleepless nights, and locking yourself in your bathroom or closet- it’s just another natural part of motherhood. You got this. You’re a good mom. ♥